I never intended to stop blogging. I just never could seem to get back to it. Life kept going. Little People needed loving, Big People needed it too, and there were always mouths to feed, faces to wash, chores to do...the details of life to see to. The thing about blogging, is that thankfully, the blog does not holler if you forget to feed it. The new fish in our house does not, either, which is why I suspect his days are numbered.
I actually never did stop blogging totally. I just never wrote it down. I often blog in my head as I go through the days. I silently mull over what things I would say to no one in particular if there were ever an arena to articulate them. Most of the time what I would say is just complaining anyway, so I skip the
leaving evidence writing it down part on purpose. I also struggled with the question of audience in blogging. Who exactly is reading this and who exactly am I writing this for? The less I know about who is reading, the better off I imagine myself to be, that way I am not worrying who I will offend or what So-And-So will think of what I write. Regarding who it is for...well, while I would like to say very assuredly that I am writing this for 'the Lord', I suspect that it is really just for me. I usually feel better after writing things down, and for now, I am OK with that being the only reason.
A few months ago, after I was once again lamenting that I can never get everything done, a friend
lectured exhorted me that there is always ample time in the day to
everything 'that the Lord really wants (me) to do'. Ever eager (unfortunately) to latch on to a dose of condemnation and guilt, I saw this advice and raised it a bit. My self-imposed rules for what needed to be done before I could ____ (blog, paint my toenails, sit still and quiet for five minutes, etc.) never left any room for anything fun whatsoever. After finally (why did I not think of this sooner?) consulting Mr. Visionary about the question of blogging, we discussed how the To-Do List never ends and that my work could conceivably never be done. His advice? Blog anyway.
The truth is, there really are a few folks whom I really do like to have read here. Our schedule is so hectic, and I see Mr. Visionary so little four days out of the week, that I really like it when he catches up on my blog sometimes and then wants to discuss something I wrote.
A post Holly put up a few days ago reminded me of the other audience I especially love - my children. I thought about how wonderful it will be for her children to look back at that video (and that post). The things you want to say do not always get said in the hustle and bustle of normal days in a large family. I want my children to be able to look at this (online now, but on paper years from now) and see what my thoughts were toward them. I suspect that there are parts of our life now -especially my thoughts toward them- that they just will not fully understand until they are Mommas and Daddies themselves.
So, without further long, drawn-out explanation, I'm back. I hope to be able to pop in more often now. And I'll be sure to give you an update on the family, the happenings, and all the luscious baby chub around here!
It is perfectly alright to say, "Well I was
wondering where you were!" And if you're reading this on Bloglines, I updated the sidebar finally - come see.
