Saturday, May 13, 2006

There’s Gotta Be A Reason

What is this blog all about? What could possibly be the purpose? Why would a woman who often agonizes that there is "not enough time in the day", and "not enough of me to go around", purposely add something else to her plate?





Surely there is a reason (and it better be good).





Everything is done for a reason, right?





As believers, we pray that our reasons will glorify our LORD.





Before our first child was born, we knew we were called by the LORD to homeschool our children. Ours was not to question, just obey. Yet, over the years, we have questioned this decision, and been reaffirmed each time that homeschooling was indeed the Lord's will for us. The what never changed, but the how has been evolving gradually since the beginning.





We have been freshly praying about how to make school more interesting without it becoming more complicated. This blog is to fulfill part of that, as each child will have his own category to post and showcase his delight-directed interests. We have chosen not to have separate blogs for the children as we want to continue to build unity and further turn our hearts toward our children and theirs toward us. On that eclectic mix of "things we use as curriculum", this blog has been added.





As of late, I have also been convicted by the Holy Spirit and challenged by my sisters in Christ to be there for and with my children more. I mean really be there. At first I thought, "What do you mean be with my children? I can't remember the last time I was not with my children. I am a full-time homemaker and stay-at-home, homeschooling Mom. How could I not be with them?"





Ah, but there is more involved than my physical presence alone. There is that searching gaze directed deep into their eyes attempting to connect with who they are on the inside. Hugs are nice and necessary, but those lingering embraces, by God's grace, actually cement my love into their spirit. Hearing them speak and answering with a half-hearted, "Uh-huh" answer doesn't feed them the same way as my listening-as-if-there-is-going-to-be-a-test-on-this. There will be a test. The test comes every time they speak to me. They know if I am really there with them or not, and it resonates within their spirit positively or otherwise. This is a test I cannot fail. The stakes are too high.





Holly from Choosing Home said that we should "smile into their souls" . That visual and the one I get with a distracted Mom, going through the motions of the day, immersed in her own thoughts and agenda, clash loudly. Molly said, "God is responsible for changing your heart, but YOU are responsible for changing your actions". So here I am. Taking those first unsteady steps of obedience. I am determining in my heart to BE there with my children. That is the least that I owe to my children and my LORD.





I know that He will hold my hand as I take these first faltering steps, as He will throughout my walk as a Mom. He is good that way. I have found Molly's experience to be my own: "being (really BEing) with my children brings Peace and Rest to my heart".





To God be the glory!


Edited to add: The original plan for this blog didn't actually materialize as far as the children posting. The desire just wasn't there for them. In any case, we still, as a family, like Mom's having the blog, and will keep it until we hear differently from the Lord.  














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