Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Full Disclosure

Was it the crushing of my laptop last week?

Maybe it was the first bout of sickness that hit my house?

Perhaps it was the switching of the seasonal clothes for seven children, the stocking up on homemade tinctures and salves, our speaking at another church this past week, my listing of 350 items from my house for sale, or the fact that my Grandmother is making bean soup. I list the last option as proof that if one is looking for an excuse, any one will do. You always find what you're looking for, after all.

The fact is, bean soup or not, I've been swamped, which partially explains why I haven't posted another lesson in the study. The word "partially" indicates that further explaining is in order. While I do not feel the need to explain, I do feel the desire, so permit me to make an attempt.

Mr. Visionary and I were tremendously blessed by all that we were led to study on our own through the instigation of these lessons. When we considered beginning the study, it was for one reason: we wanted others to experience blessing as well. I had mentioned the study in a post before, but realized that the length of the study would be too daunting for most folks. I have this reaction as well... when I see something very long, I automatically sigh and dismiss it, unless...

Unless it sounds like something I have been looking for.

We believed we could not be the only ones searching for a better way, searching to see Father's face more clearly, seeking to discard all that we had inherited from the world, in order to live on nothing but the Word. We felt led to begin the study for the other ones who were searching, too. We did not know who these would be, but felt sure that our Father would.

Throughout the beginning of this study, I have been overwhelmed with all that it has required of me. We were sure we were supposed to start it, but the walking it out has been more challenging than I had imagined. As I have gone through the study this second time, it has been just as profoundly affecting me as the first. I have needed time to digest and ponder... time to understand things more clearly... time to pray and know that I am hearing His voice.

The questions and e-mail that have multiplied by ten have been all that I can keep up with. My dear friend has encouraged me to begin a Yahoo group to help with further discussion (and all the questions), but that as well would be consuming, and too much for this mother of seven to manage. (I'm organized, but I'm not that organized.) I desire to help and to answer questions, but with only so much time, I struggle to determine what this would look like. Please bear with me as I figure it all out.

Also, I have been feeling pressured by my perceived need to post something profound (or at least attempt it) for each lesson. But, as Mr. Visionary reminded me, perception is not reality, and anyway, profundity doesn't always come. Sometimes I am just as much in a digestion stage as everyone else, and cannot come up with anything coherent to share. If I post the lessons alone, I hope to be able to free up more time to enter into the discussion with everyone else. All of this is to say that I will be just posting the lessons from here on out, and sharing my own experience through the comments.

Whew... I feel relieved already!


  1. You know Julie, that's really okay.

    As another mother of 7, I totally understand being chronologically challenged. One of the weeks, I couldn't even manage to READ the lesson. I think I just commented on the comments. :)

    As to needing to offer a profound essay to introduce each lesson, Mike and Sue are pretty good at giving us food for thought.

    We do love your articles though, so don't stop writing when you have the opportunity.

    May He Bless you and yours.

  2. I think you are a very wise woman. :) We, too, have had our first bout of winter viruses but I ended up in the ER with Shalom last night. Something about being able to breathe being a welcome change for him and requiring steriods to enable him to breathe again.

    You are not the only one who is busy and often times teetering on overwhelmed. You have done a wonderful, amazing and incredible job so far. :) I think your format from here on is a great idea.

  3. Whew...I'm saying "whew" with you...I feel better for you too! I agree...the new format is a great idea and you can then feel the freedom to share profundity when it comes! I often read the lessons and the comments from everyone and think, "wow I have so much going on in my head"...but then never get to the point of typing.
    Speaking of winter illnesses...our family has also had it's first bout too!
    So although you all may not hear from me often...my husband and I are still here, reading along and trying to digest what the Lord would have us to hear.
    Blessings to you all

  4. We have been fighting illness here too. I have been trying to take time to learn what kinds of herbs to get to help our family out. Both my older boys have had fevers twice in this one month and add in a precious little 14mth old baby girl and that is teething not a good combination.
    So at the moment we are a bit bogged down.
    Julie I really enjoy your writing. I am always interested in what you write about.
    I am thankful you brought this study to our attention. I have gone on some bunny trails when studying.
    I seem to do that, one looking up leads to another looking up and so on and so on.
    Hopefully I'll get back on track soon.
    There are alot of things to digest.
    I can get very over whelmed. So I of course need time to digest go to my husband and talk things out.
    I really enjoying reading posts but I am sure others must be battling sickness also.
    Again, thanks!


  5. Hi Julie,

    I have been meaning to pop in over here and say "hi" for awhile now! I can so totally understand and relate to this "full disclosure". I'm sure that we all can! *lol* I've found that my days have been just way too busy here to even be on the computer much at all. I'm doing good to even read the study portions, and haven't been able to post about them at all (as I'd thought that I would), for which I apologize. I'd thought that I could be more involved in the discussions too, but haven't been able to.

    I'm finding that keeping my priorities straight here in my home first is much more rewarding and needful right now than online discussions anyways. Our 3 month old requires most of my days, and then there's my other two ever-growing children, hubby, laundry, meals to cook, bean soup and everything else... and I only have three kids! ;)

    Thank you for your efforts, and for hosting this study. I've been meaning to write and share more concerning it, but haven't yet found the time, and that's okay. I've learned that when the desire is there, any given needful thing usually happens right when it's supposed to, even if it's not when I'd thought that it would.

    You just continue to enjoy fulfilling your minsitry to your family first. That's what I've determined to do. We'll all be here to discuss and ponder the deeper things of the Lord together as time and energies allow.

    blessings to you and yours during this Thanksgiving season~

  6. p.s. Sorry to hear about your laptop, yikes! What a bummer! I hope that your family is all healthy now.

  7. Hi Julie,
    I was so relieved to read your post. I have been really behind on blogging - just needing a mental break a guess - but nothing having to do with beans. Anyways, I was afraid I was so behind, but was so happy to see that all I have to do is read lesson 8. I'll get right on it - ummm, after a nap & Thanksgiving. Wow, T -12 days and counting! Does that mean that after the house closes, the Lord willing, you will be heading to Israel? Best Wishes & Shalom, Jane

  8. Just wanted to give you a little encouragement, too, that just because some of us (meaning me) haven't joined the discussion doesn't mean it is not a very important undertaking to post the lessons. You aren't the only one who can't always verbalize what's going on inside. It's a 'be still and know' thing.

    I was worried you were going to say no more lessons! As long as they are here, it doesn't matter to me at all if you post more with it or not.



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