Thursday, December 27, 2007

Beginning A Journal

My ponderings over the last few weeks have led me to begin a journal to correspond with the beginning of the new year. After praying about exactly what type I would like, I chose this plain, hardbound book with unlined pages, and am almost giddy thinking of all the potential it and the year hold. I wanted to share with you the first entry I made in the journal, in case you, too, have been feeling led to begin one.
Being that this is my first attempt at keeping a journal, perhaps I should be nervous. Will I actually do it? Will I find this book in a cluttered box three years from now with no other writing save what lies here? Or could this be the first day that my life has a permanent record? Will these pages be the encouragement that I one day look back upon to know that my life was not spent in vain? I cannot know any of these answers now. I can only apply that tiny spark of hope to the tinder of this book and feed it with whatever there is within me of commitment and diligence to see it through.

Although this journal will house my thoughts, my feelings and my ideas…I dedicate it to the glory of YHWH alone. I pray that He will use it as a tool to help me find Julie, and in the process, know Him better. Whose I am is not in question ~ I have given my life to the One who gave it to me. Yet, there is a softly nagging question regarding who I am. I am Phil’s Bride and my children’s’ Momma to be sure, (and blessed I am to be such), but anything else seems to have somehow been lost along the way, assuming there ever was anything else. I am content with my role in life, but wonder if I can bring more of myself to it. Are there skills, abilities or inspirations lying dormant within me that, unearthed and nurtured, could bless my family and bring glory to YHWH? Have I buried my talents in the dailyness of life? These things remain to be determined.

There’s more, too. I want to remember. So much of my early years of motherhood and wifehood are lost forever…because my mind lacks any resemblance to a steel trap. How I long to go back and recapture those days when all my people were small, and soak it in ~ and remember ~ forever. In the fleeting moments of Now, I recognize that, lest it be written down somewhere, I am unable to recall all that happened last week, much less the last few years. I may not be able to recapture all that has transpired, but I can begin today, recording as-it-happens, all that is to be seen from this Momma’s knothole.

From the perspective I have, here in this linear reality called time, the year ahead is empty. YHWH is there, and knows the end from the beginning, but I have yet to walk there. I cannot tidy the mess of emotions about the coming year into a neat bundle. Some, like the fear of the unknown, are unruly, and must be coaxed into submission. Others, like the thrill of new beginnings, must be tamed so as not to outrun YHWH’s timetable. Yet, eagerness, trepidation, determination and uncertainty are carved deeply into my walking stick as I trudge forward to see what lies ahead...

Welcome, 2008. May you be filled with all that YHWH has planned.

Although I am unsure if and how I will fit journaling into life, I believe that even the thought processes and promptings that brought me to this point will not be in vain. Progress is good, when it is for His glory. So here's to blank pages, blank calendars and new beginnings!


  1. Julie,
    I used to be a regular commentor when you had your blog at homeschool blogger. I just want to say that your ability to blog in a way that uplifts is one of your gifts(in case you were wondering!). I have been blessed by your links to Hebraic Restoration Ministry and also the things you joke about and also encourage us mothers in. My husband and I walked away from the institutional church last Christmas and have been begging God for more(as I have read you and your husband experience something similiar) as we go through the bible and that is exactly what he has given us! Something that I have found as a wife and homeschooling momma to four soon to be five children is that we need to be aware of mothers around us who are hurting and simply don't recieve encouragement in their calling as mother and wife in this "place" we call church. This is a part of a gift we all need to find somewhere inside us. The gift of being the older teaching the younger and we are all older and wiser than someone somewhere yearning for edification that they are not receiving in the local new testament church as we know it. I encourage a blessing to others on your daily path to mothers every where, we all so desperately need it! Satan comes to destroy and we need God's power and the vision to see the need for each other's wisdom and edification. Forgive the wordiness of all of that...

    Just want you to know as you go out to do average, daily duties (buy groceries, run errands, go to the doctor's office) pray God would use your gifts wherever He sees fit and He will. God bless you and your family!


  2. Shalom Deb.

    I agree with your words. Julie blesses us here at Seeking the Old Paths with inspiration on parenting and being a disciple. Just in case anyone is not familiar with Above Rubies, I have found this so encouraging in the realm of mothering.


  3. Hello,

    I finally added your blog to my favorites list so I don't forget to stop by every now and again. I'm satisfied. :)

    I've been keeping a journal for the past 3 years now. Sadly I think about 50% of what I've written in the several note books I've taken up is worthless, but there's still the other 50%. I have really enjoyed writing my private thoughts in a journal, thought I'm not regular about it, usually only two or three times a week. But it's fun to look back at my older entries and sometimes revealing and helpful. I pray you accomplish in your writing what you hope to and that it truly will be blessed by God.

    And back soon, I hope! :)


  4. I have basically journaled for all of my life, here and there...sometimes in the forms of journals for my children, or baby books, or private journals, sometimes even blogging. Most recently, I keep a hard bound journal that stays on my counter. Inside, it is illustrated by little pictures that the children draw or things they have said. I have the 8 year old's budding artistry and the 3 year old's first recognizable picture. :) Sometimes there are lists, sometimes there are records of the days, etc. Right now, it is not incredibly "personal," because everyone reads it, but it does serve a function of helping me to remember. I love it! :)

    Blessings on a wonderful year, Julie!


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